Lead, Kindly Light

Ben wrote the lead article for this week's issue of Regent College's newspaper, The Et Cetera:

Lead Kindly, Light: The Life and Afterlife of John Henry Newman

Ben Amundgaard

This past Sunday, the Venerable John Henry Cardinal Newman was beatified by Pope Benedict. Beatification is the third step in canonization (the process of declaring one a saint). The first step is declaring the candidate to be a ‘Servant of God’ and the second step is declaring the candidate to be ‘Venerable’ (i.e. heroic in virtue). When the Church beatifies someone, she declares it to be ‘worthy of belief’ that the candidate is in heaven, enjoying the beatific vision. Prior to the beatific vision, all Christians perceive God mediately: through Sacraments, prayer, worship and nature. The beatific vision is the eternal and direct ocular perception of God. It is the great hope of all who believe. For John Henry Newman, the longing for the beatific vision made him feel unsettled throughout his life. If the Church’s recognition of Newman’s status is accurate, then this restless pilgrim has finally found his rest.

Born in 1801 to an independently wealthy London family, Newman was profoundly influenced by the Evangelical faith of his Grandmother. At the age of 15, Newman had his own personal conversion experience. Throughout his life, he regarded this experience as an essential part of his Christian journey. "I received it at once, and believed that the inward conversion of which I was conscious, (and of which I still am more certain than that I have hands and feet,) would last into the next life, and that I was elected to eternal glory."

Read the rest here...

Photos by Dallas Bittle

Our friend from St. James met us at the park on Wednesday and brought his camera along. He took some amazing photos and we're soooo grateful that he gave them to us!

We uploaded some more to facebook -- you can see them even if you don't have an account.

Success?

Since March of this year, I've been looking for a job that would allow me to stay at home with my daughter, Sophia, for most of the day. I love being with Sophia, and Ben and I think it's really important that we focus our time, energy, and love on her -- even if it means that we don't have "successful" careers.


As Dr. Jim Houston said in an interview with John Gardner, of Regent College's Et Cetera,

And a depleted self is a professional self. Success is a trait that is associated with reductionism. ... if you want to be successful on Wall Street, you may have to neglect your family. Whatever you focus on, you can be successful. But what shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, yet forfeit his own soul? Well, that's success. Success is a relational failure.

Those last two sentences continue to fascinate me. Especially because they were written by a man who is, himself, successful. He has a nice house in an expensive neighborhood and is friends with wealthy and famous people all over the world. I wonder what he would say about himself: is he a relational failure?


What would I say about myself? 

Certainly, the fact that I don't have a successful career at the moment does not translate directly to my having successful relationships. But it might, perhaps, allow for them. In truth, I have no career at the moment. I have an impressive resume and I currently work three different jobs (tutoring ESL students one-on-one in Vancouver; tutoring ESL students in Beijing over the Internet for Opal; and tutoring students in reading and writing with Dr. Tang), but I spend the vast majority of my time with my two-year-old daughter, Sophia Marie Amundgaard, and my husband, Ben. Usually, I enjoy those relationships, but sometimes they are very hard for me. Perhaps success in these relationships is indicated by faithfulness. All three of us continue to spend time with each other, support each other, and grow with each other. We are committed to each other much more than we are committed to anything else (including financial success).

Early in the above quote, Dr. Houston said "Success is a trait that is associated with reductionism." I think he's totally right. At the moment, I am focused on relating to my immediate family -- all other candidates for my attention are severely reduced. I never thought that I'd be this way. I thought I'd always have lots of hobbies and friends and a full calendar. There is a real way in which life feels reduced. And at the same time, there is a real way in which life feels abundant, full.

I pray that I would always be protected from the temptation to forfeit my soul. And I know that this means that I may always feel poor. Lord, have mercy upon us.