Success?

Since March of this year, I've been looking for a job that would allow me to stay at home with my daughter, Sophia, for most of the day. I love being with Sophia, and Ben and I think it's really important that we focus our time, energy, and love on her -- even if it means that we don't have "successful" careers.


As Dr. Jim Houston said in an interview with John Gardner, of Regent College's Et Cetera,

And a depleted self is a professional self. Success is a trait that is associated with reductionism. ... if you want to be successful on Wall Street, you may have to neglect your family. Whatever you focus on, you can be successful. But what shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world, yet forfeit his own soul? Well, that's success. Success is a relational failure.

Those last two sentences continue to fascinate me. Especially because they were written by a man who is, himself, successful. He has a nice house in an expensive neighborhood and is friends with wealthy and famous people all over the world. I wonder what he would say about himself: is he a relational failure?


What would I say about myself? 

Certainly, the fact that I don't have a successful career at the moment does not translate directly to my having successful relationships. But it might, perhaps, allow for them. In truth, I have no career at the moment. I have an impressive resume and I currently work three different jobs (tutoring ESL students one-on-one in Vancouver; tutoring ESL students in Beijing over the Internet for Opal; and tutoring students in reading and writing with Dr. Tang), but I spend the vast majority of my time with my two-year-old daughter, Sophia Marie Amundgaard, and my husband, Ben. Usually, I enjoy those relationships, but sometimes they are very hard for me. Perhaps success in these relationships is indicated by faithfulness. All three of us continue to spend time with each other, support each other, and grow with each other. We are committed to each other much more than we are committed to anything else (including financial success).

Early in the above quote, Dr. Houston said "Success is a trait that is associated with reductionism." I think he's totally right. At the moment, I am focused on relating to my immediate family -- all other candidates for my attention are severely reduced. I never thought that I'd be this way. I thought I'd always have lots of hobbies and friends and a full calendar. There is a real way in which life feels reduced. And at the same time, there is a real way in which life feels abundant, full.

I pray that I would always be protected from the temptation to forfeit my soul. And I know that this means that I may always feel poor. Lord, have mercy upon us.