I'm
finally beginning to look pregnant. HOORAY! I feel like I've been
suffering and have had nothing to show for it, until now. But along with
this larger belly comes what the authors of What to Expect refer
to as "growing pains". I'll let them explain: "the pregnancy equivalent
of growing pains: the stretching of muscles and ligaments supporting
the enlargening uterus. Most pregnant women experience these pains,
which may be crampy or sharp and stabbing, and often are most noticeable
when you are getting up from a bed or chair, or when you cough. The
pain may be brief, or may last for several hours." (221) These pains
started last weekend, when Ben and I were getting out of bed and as soon
as I stood up, I felt a stabbing pain in the lower left side of my
abdomen. I whispered "it hurts" and laid back down on the bed. Ben
compassionately laid with me and comforted me, and after a few minutes I
tried again. I thought it might be constipation or gas, but neither of
those proved to be the cause. Later that day, as we finished with lunch,
the same thing happened, and it lasted for about 30 minutes. Since then
I get those pains on both sides, at least once a day. I now know how to
handle them: move slowly and be willing to lay down as soon as they
strike. They usually leave within an hour. While painful, these pains
give me hope that the baby is growing well and that my body is doing its
best to make a fitting home for our child. I still can't believe that I
get the honor of carrying Ben's child. Wow.
Oh,
and I've started gaining weight! By now I am supposed to have gained
about 10 pounds; I rejoice, though, over the 2 that I've gained so far.
I've been so sick -- especially in the last 3 weeks -- that I know that
I've lost weight from fighting the fever, etc. Speaking
of being sick, while I feel much stronger in this trimester than I did
in the first, this trimester has seen the near decimation of my immune
system. I am actually afraid to leave the house (except to go to church,
which I look forward to each day of the week -- it feels so like home
to us). I've had a cold since last Monday, with full on coughs and
uber-thick green snot. My ears can get totally plugged, and the pressure
in them and all up the sides of my neck can be extremely difficult to
endure at times. My friend, Emily, emailed me the other day: "alas,
those darn colds during pregnancy - and you can't even take anything.
Actually, Jonah and I have had a pretty miserable cold the last couple
days (we're on the end of it now) and as I took NyQuil last night I
thought 'I'm so glad I'm not pregnant and can take this stuff!' I very
distinctly remember boiling water and fresh mint quite often when I was
pregnant. I would then sit over the boiling pot with a towel over my
head to try to steam out the mucus (which I think your body makes more
of during pregnancy)." The worst part, for
me, is the coughing. During the day, they aren't so bad, but at night,
they come out. Last night and the night before were infuriating. They
just keep coming, and if I actually cough something up, I usually gag on
it. Imagine me in bed, sitting up straight while my body shakes with
cough after cough, then I gag and my eyes begin to water. Ben has a kind
hand on my back, and prays that my illness might be passed on to him.
Alas, it does not. So I close our bedroom door, take a shower (maybe the
humidity will loosen something up?), and sit up on the couch coughing
until I exhaust myself completely and fall asleep. In these times on the
couch I fight strong temptations to just take some NyQuil or get drunk
enough on wine to calm my body enough to get the rest it needs. Last
night Ben came out to me at about 5:30 in the morning and begged me to
come back to bed. I did, but I fear that my coughs ruined any hope of
sleep that either of us had had for the rest of the morning. At one
point I looked over at him and he had a pillow on his head. This morning
he suggested that he sleep out in the living room tonight. I don't want
him to, but I guess it might be "best." This is soooo hard! We're still
newly weds!!!
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