11 February: The "bi-manual". (Jen)

The bi-manual exam (aka "internal exam") is now my greatest fear -- far above a fire, an earthquake, or even getting robbed. And I have to go in for it in exactly 7 days. Lord, have mercy. What To Expect describes the exam: "with one hand in the vagina and one on the abdomen and also possibly through the rectum and vagina" (Murkoff, 107). I have two theories as to why no one has ever told me about this: 1) it is so violating that most women block it out of their memories and honestly don't remember that it happened; 2) doctors tell pregnant women that if word of this exam got out, the human race might cease to reproduce and therefore they're morally obliged to keep it on the down low. My mom says that it was never done to her, but it might be because her pregnancies were over 30 years ago. Frankly, I think advances in science should promote things like sonograms, not bimanuals. Besides, the baby's about as big as a grape at this point -- what can one distinguish about a grape by squishing it with already-squished fingers while inside my privates?!! Ben's family raised beef cattle for a while and both Ben and his dad did this kind of exam on pregnant cows to estimate how far along a pregnancy was -- feeling for things like hoofs. Poor cows. I feel great pity for them and the many violations of their private parts. But I'm not a cow! And I don't ever want anyone sticking their hand(s) up my vagina -- nor my rectum! There must be a better way.