I'm surprised that many married men
don't pay enough attention to their wife's body and what it does. I
don't mean just looking at or admiring it, I mean paying attention with a
view to getting to know them. For example, I'm surprised that many men
are not aware of the fact that many women have discharge most of the
month - not just during their 'period.' That means their panties, and
maybe even their trousers, are damp or moist for a good portion of their
lives. How would you feel if you had to deal with that? You really
can't change anything about it, but just knowing it will help you
appreciate the potential frustrations your wife deals with on a
day-to-day basis. Another example: get to know your wife's vagina (if
she's comfortable with it, of course). Realize it's not just the place
where you put your hmm hmm once and a while but a very intricate and
delicate (not to mention fascinating) part of the human body. Jen and I
have had a lot of fun with a mirror getting to know what's going on
down there.
I wonder if for some men that part is either quite foreign
(or even scary) or they associate looking at it with looking at
pornography. It has been incredibly helpful for me to get to know it as
another, albeit special, part of Jen's body. Or her breasts - get to
know them - not as sexual objects but as, well, breasts! This has the
effect of getting to know your wife as a whole person and appreciating
her as such. And, it makes your sex life better. You have an idea of
what you're actually doing. That reminds me of another thing - talk
during foreplay and sex. If it messes things up for that particular
time - who cares, you can do it again later. But as you talk you'll
become more comfortable with sex and you'll both get better at pleasing
the other (that's right - it's your job to please her, not yourself, see
I Corinthians 7:4-5).
So why am I talking about this on a
pregnancy blog? Well, first of all, I just want to say it, and I want
to say it in a context that is geared particularly toward married
people. But secondly, this 'getting to know her body' becomes immensely
important during pregnancy. The reason is that your wife feels like
she's going through a second puberty and doesn't even know her own
body. If you're in the habit of getting to know the inner workings of
her body, you'll be more sympathetic and helpful as she feels like she
has to learn her body all over again. And she may be forgetful, which
means that when she feels something she can't remember feeling before,
but actually has, you can reassure her with 'remember honey, you already
felt that.' - but don't lie just to make her shut up - the goal is to
be helpful. Oh, and another helpful thing - read pregnancy books with
her - it will help you and will encourage her to know that you two are
in this together.
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